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College Football Kickoff Night: North Carolina State vs. South Carolina [Live Blogs]
Enough of your waiting, young stallion. The Pack of Wolves are visiting the Game of Cocks. To christen the season on TV, ESPN’s Chris Fowler, Craig James and Jesse Palmer are behind the mic. Erin Andrews is behind the sidelines with a different mic — one that gets way more pageviews than a regular mic. Other games, if they earned it, will get mentioned too. Cambot. Gypsy. Tom Servo. Juuuuuuuuuump!
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Fourth Quarter
11:14 — Fin. Ouch, what a painful finish, although it was at least fun to watch some of those 11th hour touch-em-downs.
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Thanks for sticking to the gritty end, everyone. And if you feel asleep for 20 minutes, then I’ll condone it.
11:12 — The Wolfpack have set forth the surrender formation. They’re just running up the middle and ending this thing. One might wonder why they wouldn’t go for one last shot at a touchdown, but as we’ve seen, they haven’t carved up a play for that yet.
11:10 — If NC State just kneels out from here, they might be able to avoid a 41-0 score.
11:09 — Craig James is now convinced, with that one touchdown, that maybe Smelley and not Beecher ought to be the quarterback. The oddest events convince the deftest of analysts.
11:07 — Hey, NC State? Does it hurt yet? I see. It’s quite painful. Well, then you won’t mind if yet one more collective dicktwist is added to the physical and emotional psyche. Smelley tosses one to Jared Cook for a score.
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11:04 — Oh, Steve Spurrier isn’t letting up. A deep pass play puts the Gamecocks in opposing territory again.
11:03 — And now we’re getting into some bingo markin’s off. Tim Tebow possibly winning another Heisman? About damn time.
11:02 — Did Beck just throw three incomplete passes in one snap? That’s how fast it seemed. We’re down to six minutes.
11:01 — The new NC State quarterback is Harrison Beck. Chris Fowler labels him as “chunky.” Indeed, he is filled with peanuts and not all kids prefer him to smoother quarterbacks. (!?)
10:56 — Taylor Rank was given a few red zone carries and finishes off the drive, and probably the game. Let’s see how tangential Fowler/James/Palmer can get in the final seven minutes.
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10:54 — This isn’t going to get closer anytime soon. Mike Davis bursts for a 50-yard run.
10:50 — And again, Evans executed great mechanics for a quarterback, stepped up … and threw an interception. Just 9:15 left. (The refs look at it one more time, because it was just that awesome of an intercept, and verbally confirm the awesomeness.)
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10:49 — A desperate-looking throw for NC State yields their longest offensive play of the night. There’s your problem. Evans as just too composed all game to execute quality passes.
10:45 — A slightly foul-sounding quarterback-to-wideout combination. Smelley to LeCorn. I am officially 11 years old. Boogers.
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10:43 — Meanwhile, SC keeps kicking down doors and gathering first downs against the Wolfpack, who appear content in contending for fifth in the ACC Atlantic.
10:40 — Russell Wilson looks to have a concussion and nothing worse. So, no need for the home pregnancy test.
10:38 — Because the booth broadcasters cannot doze off, the topic is now Ana Ivanovic losing in the U.S. Open, and whether or not one’s interest in tennis is correlated to one’s manliness. Considering Rafael Nadal marinates in his own testosterone during Grand Slam finals, I think we know the answer to that one.
10:35 — The quarterbacks might need an extra layer of bubble wrap. Tommy Beecher is going to sit some of the plays out while Chris Smelley comes …
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